


He was never mine

by Alliekohai2128



Series: Miraculous Scenarios [14]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-19 17:08:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19137019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alliekohai2128/pseuds/Alliekohai2128
Summary: The cruelest kind of love, the one that hurts the most - Unrequited love. She who fell in love with him alone and suffered in the end, unloved and broken. True it was forbidden but it was love.





	He was never mine

**Author's Note:**

> The characters personality is not from the TV, but based from personal experience so please do not misunderstand.

'I didn't know what true love was but I knew that If I love his imperfections and perfections, wanting to wake up beside him and see his sleepy face in the sunlight, I knew he was the one I wanted, the one I actually loved.'

* * *

  **Marinette's POV**

I didn't know when I actually fell for him. He was just another librarian in the library, he stood taller than me by two heads with slim and delicate fingers with every page he turned, he turned it with grace. He had a smile that cold make everyone blushed, or maybe it was just me, but he was truly someone I fell for gradually as time went by. My friends asked me all the time, what do you see in him? When you like someone, you shouldn't just like them for their looks but for their personality and that is what I fell for. He was kind to everyone, sweet and yet playful, he knew when he had to be responsible and when to sit down and relax. While borrowing a book, I managed to catch his name tag - Felix. That name would forever be stitch onto my heart, and at the end a scar.

**February 2018**

It's been awhile since I noticed Felix, he always knew the kind of genre I liked - Romance and then he would suggest the best ones to me to read. This part of him which I loved was that he would even remember the littlest of things of someone that he doesn't know personally, as if there is a small connection between us, an understanding between two hearts. Day by days go by as he and I exchange more and more glances, touches and gifts. There was a time where I didn't bring my library card and he let me off by letting my borrow it for free, just one condition was to return it in perfect condition. Yes, it may have been a small token to kindness, but my heart bursted, the butterflies in my stomach were wild and my cheeks flushed brightly.

**April 2018**

Today could not be any more stressful, though with good grades I should not be as worried but I can be such a nerve-wreck with the smallest of death glares created by my mom. We were all meeting in the hall and I saw him, his eyes met mine and we smiled. The connection could never felt more real and more sweet, he was helping the staff with the catering and he smiled as I came over and handed me few sandwiches, though this could not compare to my father sweet treats at the bakery. As I wait for my mom to finish her long lectures with the teachers, I sighed as I roamed around and he came over to me, with a book in hand. 

'Hey, you looked nervous so here, this is my personal collection so you can keep it' he smiled as he gave it to me before he left.

I looked at the slightly worded out book, but yet was still neatly in place. 'A Knight In Shining Armor' by Jude Deveraux. I smiled as I hugged the book to my chest with the biggest smile, leaning against the white column avoiding him so that he did not see the embarrassing state I was in, the kind that gets embarrassed after getting gift from her crush. Did that really happened? I smiled and felt like I could really cry tears of joy, the kind of tears which were never shed in a long long time, till I met him.

* * *

 

Months went by quick, as he and I continued to meet outside the library, exchanging gifts, well mostly savory sweets and romantic novels. It felt like I was living in some kind of sweet love scandal, like the kind in romance novels. However whenever I am away from him, reality hits as my friends, with the most sincere concerns shared their worries.

'Are you sure he isn't just being nice to you?' No, I was sure as he only treated me this way, as if I was more special than the other students he had talked to.

'You know he is older than you right?' Yes I know that, I am not looking to be in a relationship with him but I want to be with him, as of this year I came to treasure every small gesture, every moment and every conversation I have with him because I really do love him.

'You know this is really risky.' Even if it is, I want to risk it. Isn't love risky? Sometimes dangerous, but at the same time it is the best feeling you could ever feel.

* * *

**September 2018**

I continued to delude myself in these 'hopes' that he gave me, but it wasn't anything real, it was all just 'false hope'. Yet again I keep believing in the best of all love, especially with him. The game he and I partake in was fun at first, but as the game continues, with no wins, no lose, just ties. You soon get bored, just tired and exhausted. Till you find something new, and that old game is thrown away like a broken chess piece. That was me, I continued the game with him and we only did little gestures, nothing big nor grand, just enough to keep that small flame that was already wavering, maybe already dead to still lit. I tried, I continued to tease him, be near him, but maybe I was just an annoyance at the end. My eyes turned to see him and-

Bang.

A single bullet. Shot straight through my heart. I didn't see it coming, but it was the final blow to break what was already cracking. A heart with cracks is easy to break, as I see him from the distance. A smile brighter than when you were with me, the brightest smile with her. Reality whispered in my ear,

'You aren't special anymore. You never were.'

A single tear rolled down my cheeks and were followed by a waterfall of salty tears as I muffled my mouth with my hands. In the library, a single noise was forbidden, so was the love I had for him. I crouched at the corner as I closed my eyes to let the tears fall. One hand to muffled the sounds of my choked voice followed by my silent screams. The other desperately hitting my chest, as if trying to fix the heart that is filling the pain throughout my body. My throat and chest tightened, I couldn't breathe and my chest was throbbing. This pain was both emotionally and physically, too much was swallowed in, bottled as I walked out of the empty library. Eyes red and puffy. Lips dehydrated and cracked. Nose wet and sniffling. I was a mess, basically. A broken mess.

* * *

 The days went by slow as I try to avoid his gaze, his presence made me shiver and weak. I thought he would have been troubled by my obvious discomfort with him and would have things cleared with a conversation, but he didn't care. He returned his reply with the same gesture, he avoided me too and it went on till he left. Was it because of me he left? Was I glad that he was finally gone? No, my heart just hurt even more. I missed him, I miss the 'him' that I met at first, not the 'him' that was the true version in this sad reality. I stopped going to the library, every time I did a pain in my chest started to developed and my hand tremors became more frequent.

* * *

  **The result**

After months of writing letters to him, but never sending them. I realized that it was fine, things were just never meant to be. If I could relive every painful moment but with those best moments of my life, I would. He was someone who had shown me what could have been some kind of love, and I really was happy. Even though he is not in my life anymore, but his visits to the library made me nostalgic. I started to talk to him, at first it was awkward, but after that talk, the weight on my shoulders and heart was lifted. That weight were the concerns of whether he was alright, the want of hearing his voice, to see him again. Everything was lifted to show me that I finally moved on. He is still in my heart, but not a big part of it. Whats certain is that, I did really loved him.

* * *

 'Love is love, be it parental or affectionate, or even one-sided, at least it was felt. It's hard to move on, tears fall as you look back wishing it to have happen or lasted longer, but what we should be grateful for was it had happened in our lives and we continue the path forward with a smile.'

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is more personal if I had to say, since I could not personally make a story by myself without a fandom or what not, guess I could tell it through the characters I love. This work is dedicated to Junn, the one who I truly loved, still in my heart but he was never really mine nor could he had been.


End file.
